A Southerner Knows… (more “Southern-isms”)

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don’t “HAVE” them, you “PITCH” them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”
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Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20! .
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we’re “in line” , we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner !
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Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,”Bless her heart” … and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

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3 Responses to A Southerner Knows… (more “Southern-isms”)

  1. critterluv says:

    Lol..That is halarious. My mother is a little bit southern so she can relate to this stuff

  2. SouthernSass says:

    Incredibly true. 🙂 Gotta love the south!
    Can’t beat good fried green tomatoes either. 😉

  3. southernbabe says:

    im southern lol i understood it all!

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