I am a good, honest, loyal, faithful person, to my freinds, and in my relationships. I have spent my life wanting to see smiles, and hear laughter from all those around me, and trying to make sure they had plenty of both. I deserve better than this.
I met Steve online, two years ago. Yes, we’ve been together in real life too. He lives in Wisconsin and I live in Arkansas, but we were together, and were planning our lives together. I was to move there next May after I graduated college, because at 40, I wouldn’t put it off, and couldn’t afford out of state tuition, and Wisconsin was where we all (my son included) wanted to be.
I got up yesterday to offlines from him declaring his love and how much he missed me, only to see him online at yahoo with a status message declaring his love for “Tammy”, and how “good” she loved him in return.
Today he kept writing to me, telling me “the only reason in my stupid head we aren’t married is your not next to me………….”
and so…what? that gave him a reason to cheat? or fall in love, or whatever…and to announce it publicly without so much as a word to me?
He kept telling me he was wrong, and he was sorry, yet at the same time it was MY FAULT because i wasn’t there with him, yet it was always I who went THERE. He never once came here. I always put in all the effort.
I wasn’t looking for love when I met him. It just happened. Formed from an online friendship into something almost tangible. He broke down barriers of trust that I didn’t think could EVER be broken… and I trusted him completely. Everything I did, even from a 1,000 miles away, had him, and our future in mind. Even my 16 yr old son is crazy about him, and was so looking forward to us being a family. I don’t even know what to tell him now.
I deserve better than this. I deserve to be loved, completely, honestly, and faithfully. I deserve to be adored, because I adore those who love me… freinds, family, and otherwise.
I will NOT let this break me. I am stronger than this. I am more than THIS.
Someday, someone is gonna love me the way I deserve, and I am going to love them even stronger, harder, better than they ever DREAMED they could be loved.
Just you hide and WATCH!