25 Things about me (and the last meme I will EVER do}

February 13, 2009

Now, very seldom do I do these memes, however, because I was tagged by a few people I truly adore, I decided to do this one last time. And it WILL be the last!

When I read through the 25 things my friends had written, I was amazed to learn so much about them. They didn’t add “fillers or “fluff”, and seemed to me they really shared parts of themselves, and I must say, I was pleased to learn so much about them that I didn’t have a clue about. So, with that, I will try to be as equally forthcoming.

**Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1. My given name at birth was Jean-Marie Josephine, but I was adopted and my name was changed to Twila Marie.

2. I was adopted by my birth aunt/uncle, and the result is not a family tree, but a crazy ass vine. My birth mother became my cousin, my grandfather became my uncle, and my uncle became my dad.

3. When I was a baby, I had pneumonia so bad I almost died, and it weakened my lungs, I have asthma and I’ve had a lung to collapse “just ‘cause”, and yet I smoke. (but really DO want to quit).

4. I attended Catholic school even though I’ve never been catholic, and have attended private Baptist and Non-Denom Christian Academies.

5. I have been going to college off and on since 1987 (times off for marriage, a kid, divorce, work, life in gen) and still don’t have a degree. I’ve changed my major three times, and even though I’m a senior at ASU and like what I’m going for, it’s still NOT what I want to do.

6. What DO I want to do? What I’ve always wanted to do… archeology. It’s my passion. When my mother was alive she wouldn’t hear of it. I should have changed it the day after she died. I thought about it, but felt the guilt reaching from the grave.

7. When I was 13 (1980) my sis was married to an ex NASA man (Apollo 11) and he was a leader in computer tech back then, resulting in my first pc, the Tandy TRS 80. This started my love of tech.

8. When I was 16 I went to live with sis in SC and audited summer classes at the college where the bro-in-law taught. There he taught me robotics, and I had one named “HERO” that I was responsible for programming and demonstrating at events. Tech geek status engrained forever.

9. I met the first person I ever truly loved then, and ended up breaking his heart, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it.

10. I was paid back for hurting him by falling in love again, and losing him. I came back to Ark to visit my parents for Christmas, and he died while I was gone. Heart murmur. I never went back to SC after that.

11. When I was 19 we found out dad had lung cancer. Promising I would not let him go to a nursing home, I dropped out of college (the 1st time) to care for him. The doc gave him 3-6 months, he lived over a year.

12. When my father could no longer bear the pain of the cancer (it had paralyzed one side of his body), he took out a snub-nosed 38 and shot himself in the forehead. I was in the next room with my mother when he did it. I was 20 yrs old.

13. My mother made it through the funeral, but collapsed that same night while walking through the kitchen. She simply…shut down… and never came back to me. I spent the next year taking care of her, still keeping my promise to my dad. She died 13 months after my father did… of a broken heart.

14. I always wanted a marriage like my parents had. True love. I never once saw them have an argument. When I was 18 I told my mother this, and she just laughed and laughed, and said “well of course we had disagreements, and even a few arguments…we just never had them in front of YOU”.

15. Between the deaths of my father and mother, I married the man who would become my son’s father. Everyone kept telling me it was the thing to do. He would HELP me. As soon as he HELPED me spend my inheritance, he was gone.

16. I married my 2nd husband after living with him for 3 years. Within a week of marriage he hit me for the first time, and told me that since I was now his wife, I had no right to my own opinions because everything I did reflected on him, so he was God.

17. It didn’t take but a few beatings for me to say “I want a divorce”. His answer was shoving a sawed off shotgun into my chest and telling me “You will never leave me, and I will never leave you! I will kill you first, and then myself, and you’ll be buried next to me, and spend all of eternity in Hell with me, but you will NEVER be rid of me”

18. My son’s grandfather was chief of police at the time. The next beating and a call to him ensured I WOULD be rid of him, and I was.

19. I was left with no money (wasn’t allowed to work) and no car, and all the bills with a child to care for. I turned to meth, and it paid the bills.

20. Until my cousin got busted for drugs, and he set me up to save himself. I went to prison for 2 ½ years, losing my child, my parents home…everything.

21. When I got out of prison, I had nothing but the $100 check they give you when you leave. I didn’t even have clothes, and had to wear my prison uniform into my local bank to cash the check. That was 10 years ago.

22. I got out, got a job, got my son back, worked days and went to college nights. I met a man in my church I thought was the answer to my prayers. After living with him OVER A YEAR, I found out he was a registered sex offender in another state. So yeah, that ended about 4 years ago.

23. I still want what my parents had, but I don’t believe it exists in this world anymore, and even if it did, I doubt I would ever again believe in a man enough to find out,

24. I’m still single, still raising my son, still working, and still going to college when I can. I barely make ends meet, but I’m doing it on my own terms, and I can live with that.

25. I still believe in goodness, kindness, compassion, honesty, laughter, and doing whatever I can to help others, and to make them smile and laugh. It is a driving force, really… because I know how much life can hurt… and I know how much a simple kindness can take so much of the pain away.

**To pass this on, && go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app, then click post.)

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Broken…

September 22, 2008

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I’m an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they’re still looking for life

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
with a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

I’m hangin’ on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I’m hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, I’ll be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
with a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

I miss my friend. I miss our talks,  the laughter, and I even miss our fights.  I miss laying beside you on the blanket in the middle of a field while we made a dozen wishes on a dozen shooting stars.  I wish you could send me my heart back from Wisconsin, but I know it will be a slow journey, because it doesn’t want to leave on it’s own.   You will always be my Great North Woodsman. I will always love you, and wish you all the happiness life can bring you.

Amazingy Simple Home Remedies

February 3, 2008

 

1.  If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly  removed.

 

2.  Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

 

3.  You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting  the toilet seat just by using the sink.

 

4.  For high blood  pressure  sufferers: simply cut  yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use an egg timer.

 

5.  A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

 

6.  If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

 

7.  Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a  hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

 

8.  Sometimes, we just need to remember a few of the simple rules of life…

 

“In life, you only tools you need are WD-40 and Duct Tape.  If it doesn’t move, but should, use WD-40. If it should not move, and does, use the duct tape.”

 

9.  Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

 

10.       Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

 

 

Thought For The Day:

 

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES…. THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING… BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS

 


A few thing I believe…

January 6, 2008

I believe –
. . . just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I believe –
. . . we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I believe –
. . . no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe –
. . . true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I believe –
. . . you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe –
. . . it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe –
. . . you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe –
. . . you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I believe –
.
. we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe –
. . either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe –
. . . heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I believe –
. . . money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe –
. . . that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe –
. . sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I believe –
. . sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I believe

. . maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I believe –
. . . it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe –
. . . no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I believe –
. . . our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe –
. . you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I believe –
. . two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe –
. . . your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.

I believe –
. . . even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you – you will find the strength to help.

I believe –
. . . credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I believe –
. . the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I believe –