51 Weirdest Tourist Traps in America

April 3, 2011

Uh yeah… the title says is all…

Amplify’d from www.trutv.com
World's Largest Office Chair - Anniston, Alabama

World’s Largest Office Chair – Anniston, Alabama

Read more at www.trutv.com

Run-over Fireman Monument - Washington, DC

Run-over Fireman Monument – Washington, DC

Read more at www.trutv.com

Skull Silo at Frightland - St. Georges, Delaware

Skull Silo at Frightland – St. Georges, Delaware

Read more at www.trutv.com

World's Largest Barrel of Bourbon and Crucifix - Bardstown, Kentucky

World’s Largest Barrel of Bourbon and Crucifix – Bardstown, Kentucky

Read more at www.trutv.com

Stairway to Nowhere - Chesterfield, New Hampshire

Stairway to Nowhere – Chesterfield, New Hampshire

Read more at www.trutv.com

Tom Haywood's Self-Kicking Machine - New Bern, North Carolina

Tom Haywood’s Self-Kicking Machine – New Bern, North Carolina

Read more at www.trutv.com

Duct Tape Festival - Avon, Ohio

Duct Tape Festival – Avon, Ohio

Read more at www.trutv.com

World's Largest Pig Hairball - Mount Angel, Oregon

World’s Largest Pig Hairball – Mount Angel, Oregon

Read more at www.trutv.com

Skeleton of a Man Walking A Skeleton of a Dinosaur on a Leash - Murdo, South Dakota

Skeleton of a Man Walking A Skeleton of a Dinosaur on a Leash – Murdo, South Dakota


Created to keep the non-meth-addicted truck drivers alert and attentive.

Read more at www.trutv.com

The Mystery Hole - Ansted, West Virginia

The Mystery Hole – Ansted, West Virginia

Read more at www.trutv.com

Town with Population of One - Lost Springs, Wyoming

Town with Population of One – Lost Springs, Wyoming


The mayor lives at the post office because he is also the mailman.

Read more at www.trutv.com

 


How To Speak Southern

October 6, 2010

Addled: Confused, disoriented, as in the case of Northern sociologists who try to make sense out of the South, “What’s wrong with that Yankee? He acts right addled.”

Afar: In a state of combustion. “Call the far department. That house is afar.”

Ahr: What we breathe, also a unit of time made up of 60 minutes. “They should’ve been here about an ahr ago.”

Ar: Possessive pronoun. “That’s AR dawg, not yours.”

Ary: Not any. “He hadn’t got ary cent.”

Awfullest: The worst. “That’s the awfullest lie you evr told me in your life.”

Bad-mouth: To disparage or derogate. “All these candidates have bad-mouthed each other so much I’ve about decided not to vote for any of ’em.”

Baws: Your employer. “The baws may not always be right, but he’s always the baws.”

Best: Another baffling Southernism that is usually couched in the negative. “You best not speak to Bob about his car. He just had to spend $300 on it.”

Braht: Dazzing. “Venus is a braht planet.”

Bud: Small feathered crature that flies. “A robin sure is a pretty bud.”

Cawse: Cause, usually preceded in the South by the adjective “lawst” (lost). “The War Between the States was a lawst cawse.”

Cayut: A furry animal much beloved by little girls but detested by adults when it engages in mating rituals in the middle of the night. “Be sure to put the cayut out-side before you go to bed.”

Chunk: To throw. “Chunk it there, Leroy. Ole Leroy sure can chunk ‘at ball, can’t he? Best pitcher we ever had.”

Clone: A type of scent women put on themselves. “what’s that clone you got on, honey?”

Contrary: Obstinate, perverse. “Jim’s a fine boy, but she won’t have nothin’ to do with him. She’s just contrary, is all Ah can figure.”

Daints: A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the sound of music. “You wanna go to the daints with me Saturday night, Bobbie Sue?”

Danjuh: Imminent peril. What John Paul Jones meant when he said, “Give me a fast ship, for I intend to put her in harm’s way.”

Deah: A term of endearment, except in the sense Rhett Butler used it when he said to Scarlett O’Hara, “Frankly, my deah, Ah don’t give a damn.”

Didn’t go to: Did not intend to. “Don’t whip Billy for knockin’ his little sister down. He didn’t go to do it.”

Dollin: Another term of endearment. (darling) “Dollin, will you marry me?”

Dreckly: Soon. “He’ll be along dreckly.”

Effuts: Exertions. “Lee made great effuts to defeat Grant.”

Everthang: All-encompassing. “everthang’s all messed up.”

Everhoo: Another baffling Southernism – a reverse contraction of whoever.”Everhoo one of you kids wants to go to the movie better clean up their room.”

Fahn: Excellent. “That sure is a fahn-lookin’ woman.”

Farn: Anything that is not domestic. “Ah don’t drink no farn liquor, specially Rooshin vodka.”

Fetchin’: Attractive. “That’s a mighty fetchin’ woman. Think I’ll ask her to daints.”

Fixin’ to: About to. “I’m fixin’ to go to the store.”

Foolin’ around: Can mean not doing anything in particular or sex, usually of the extramarital variety. “Sue caught her husband foolin’ around, so she divorced him.”

Fummeer: A place other than one’s present location. “Where do we go fummeer?”

Gawn: Departed. “Bo’s not here. He’s gawn out with somebody else.”

Gone: Going to. “You boys just git out there and play football. We gone make mistakes, but they are, too.”

Got a good notion: A statement of intent. “Ah got a good notion to cut a switch and whale the dickens out of that boy.”

Grain of sense: An appraisal of intelligence, invariably expressed in negative terms. “That boy ain’t got a grain of sense.”

Gummut: A large institution operating out of Washington that consumes taxes at a fearful rate. “Bill’s got it made. He’s got a gummut job.”

Hahr: That which grows on your head and requires cutting periodically. “You need a hahrcut.”

Hod: Not soft, but meaning stubborn or willful when used to describe a Southern child’s head. “That boy’s so hod-headed it’s pitiful.”

Hot: A muscle that pumps blood through the body, but also regarded as the center of emotion. “That gull (girl) has just broke his hot.”

Hush yo’ mouth: An expression of pleased embarrassment, as when a Southern female is paid an extravagant compliment. “Honey, you’re ’bout the sweetest, best-lookin’ woman in Tennessee. Now hush yo’ mouth, Jim Bob.”

Ignert: Ignorant. “Ah’ve figgered out what’s wrong with Congress. Most of ’em are just plain ignert.”

Ill: Angry, testy. “What’s wrong with Molly today? She’s ill as a hornet.”

Innerduce: To make one person acquainted with another. “Lemme innerduce you to my cousin. She’s a little on the heavy side, but she’s got a great personality.”

Iont: I don’t. “Iont know if Ah can eat another bobbycue (barbecue) or not.”

Jack-leg: Self taught, especially in reference to automobile mechanics and clergy-men. “He’s just a jack-leg preacher, but he sure knows how to put out the hellfire and brimstone.”

Jewant: Do you want. “Jewant to go over to the Red Rooster and have a few beers?”

Ka-yun: A sealed cylinder containing food. “If that woman didn’t have a kay-un opener, her family would starve to death.”

Kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on: A colorful Southern expression used as as evaluation of someone’s ability to accomplish something. “He ain’t got no more chance than a kerosene cat in hell with gasoline drawers on.”

Kin: Related to. An Elizabethan expression, one of many which survived in the South. “Are you kin to him?” “Yeah, He’s my brother.”

Klect: To receive money to which one is entitled. “Ah don’t think you’ll ever klect that bill.”

Laht: A source of illumination. “This room’s too doc (dark). We need more laht in here.”

Lar: One who tells untruths. “Not all fishermen are lars. It’s just that a lot of lars fish.”

Layin’ up: Resting or meditating. Or as Southern women usually put it, loafing. “Cecil didn’t go to work today ’cause of a chronic case of laziness. He’s been layin’ up in the house all day, drivin’ me crazy.”

Let alone: Much less. “He can’t even hold a job and support himself, let alone support a family.”

Let out: Dismissed. “What time does school let out?”

Lick and a promise: To do something in a hurried or perfunctory fashion. “We don’t have time to clean this house so it’s spotless. Just give it a lick and a promise.”

Mahty raht: Correct. “You mahty raht about that, Awficer. Guess Ah WAS speedin’ a little bit.”

Make out: Yes, it means that in the South too, but it also means finish your meal. “You chirren (Children) hadn’t had nearly enough to eat. Make out your supper.”

Mind to: To have the intention of doing something. “Ah got a mind to quit my job and just loaf for a while.”

Nawth: Any part of the country outside the South _Midwest, California or whatever.If it’s not South, it’s Nawth. “People from up Nawth sure do talk funny.”

Nekkid: To be unclothed. “Did you see her in that movie? She was nekkid as a jaybird.”

Nemmine: Never mind, but used in the sense of difference. “It don’t make no nemmine to me.”

Of a moanin: Of a morning, meaning in the morning. “My daddy always liked his coffee of a moanin.”

Ownliest: The only one. “That’s the ownliest one Ah’ve got left.”

Parts: Buccaneers who sailed under the dreaded skull and crossbones. “See that third baseman? He just signed a big contrack with the Pittsburg Parts.”

PEEcans: Northerners call them peCONNS for some obscure reason. “Honey, go out in the yard and pick up a passel of PEEcans. Ah’m gonna make us a pie.”

Pert: Perky, full of energy. “You look mighty pert today.”

Pick at: To pester and annoy. “Jimmy, Ah told you not to pick at your little sister.”

Purtiest: The most pretty. “ain’t she the purtiest thing you ever seen?”

Quar: An organized choral group, usually connected with a church or school. “Did you hear the news? The preacher left his wife and run off with the quar director.”

Raffle: A long-barrelled firearm. “Dan’l Boone was a good shot with a raffle.”

Rahtnaow: At once. “Linda Sue, Ah want you to tell that boy it’s time to go home and come in the house rahtnaow.”

Ranch: A tool used to lossen or tighten nuts and bolts. “Hand me that ranch, Homer.”

Raut: A method of getting from one place to another which Southerners pronounce to rhyme with “kraut”. Yankees, for reasons that remain shrouded in mystery, pronounce “route” to rhyme with “root”. Or worse still, “foot.”

Restrunt: A place to eat. “New Yorker’s got a lot of good restrunts.”

Retard: No longer employed. “He’s retard now.”

Sass: Another Elizabethan term derived from the word saucy, meaning to speak in an impertinent manner. “Don’t sass me, young lady. You’re not too old to get a whippin’.”

Shainteer: Indicates the absence of a female. “Is the lady of the house in?” “Nope. Shainteer.”

Shudenoughta: Should not. “You shudenoughta have another drink.”

Spell: An indetermined length of time. “Let’s sit here and rest a spell.”

Stain: The opposite of leaving. “Ah hate this party, and Ah’m not stain much longer.”

Supper: The evening meal Southererners are having while Yankees are having dinner. “What’s for supper, honey?

Take on: To behave in a highly emotional manner. “Don’t take on like that, Brenda Sue. He’s not the only man in Lee County.”

Tal: What you dry off with after you take a share. “Would you bring me a tal, sweetheart?”

Tawt: To instruct. “Don’t pull that cat’s tail. Ah tawt you better’n that.”

Thank: Think. “Ah thank Ah’ll go to a movie tonight.”

That ole dawg won’t hunt no more: That will not work. “You want to borrow $20 when you still owe me fifty? That ole dawg won’t hunt no more.”

Tore up: Distraught, very upset. “His wife just left him, and he’s all tore up about it.”

Uhmewzin: Funny, comical. “Few things are more uhmewzin than a Yankee tryin’ to affect a Southern accent, since they invariably address one person as ‘y’all when any Southern six-year-old knows ‘y’all is always plural because it means ‘all of you.'”

Unbeknownst: Lacking knowledge of. “Unbeknownst to them, he had marked the cards.”

Usta: Used to. “Ah usta live in Savanah.”

Vaymuch: Not a whole lot, when expressed in the negative. “Ah don’t like this ham vaymuch.”

Wahn: What Jesus turned the water into, unless you’re Babdist who is persuaded it was only grape juice. “Could Ah have another glass of that wahn?”

Wars: Slender strands of coated copper that carry power over long distances. “They’re puttin’ telephone wars underground now.”

Wawk: A method of non-polluting travel by foot. “Why don’t we take an old-fashioned wawk?”

Wear out: An expression used to describe a highly-effective method of behavior modification in children. “When Ah get ahold of that boy, Ah’m gonna wear him out.”

Wender: A glass-covered opening in a wawl. “Open that wender, It’s too hot in here.”

Yat: A common greeting in the Irish Channel section of New Orleans. Instead of saying “hey” in lieu of “hello” the way most Southerners do, they say, “Where yat?”

Yew: Not a tree, but a personal pronoun. “Yew wanna shoot some pool?”

Y’heah?: A redundant expression tacked onto the end of sentences by Southerners. “Y’all come back soon, y’heah?”

Yontny: Do you want any. “Yontny more cornbread?”

Yungins: Also spelled younguns, meaning young ones. “Ah want all you yungins in bed in five minutes.”

Zit: Is it. “Zit already midnight, sugar? Tahm sure flies when you’re having fun.”

Taken from “More How To Speak Southern” written by Steve Mitchell


The Tech Teen

July 14, 2007

At The Tech Teen, they have young adults from ages 15-19 speaking their minds about what products work, and what don’t. New products ranging from cell phones to laptops will be reviewed. Here, other teens can come to find out what they really should be saving up for. Here, parents can find out what their son or daughter would really like.

http://thetechteen.com/

My 16 year old son turned me on to this kid, then I ran into him on Pownce. Don’t let his age fool you into thinking he’s less than he his. He’s brilliant, tuned in, and turned on to what makes other “tech teens” tick. Give him a chance. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Meet Truman, The Tech Teen

Founder and Lead Reviewer at TTT, Truman is 15 years old and is going into his junior year of Highschool. Some of his hobbies include Computers, Digg, Technology in general, Rock Climbing, and MMA.read more | digg story


I bet you didn’t know….

April 24, 2007

Did You Know…..?

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented.
It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and
thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

——————————————-

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (Lucy and
Ricky were only allowed twin beds. Remember?)

——————————————-

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.

——————————————-

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.

——————————————-

Coca-Cola was originally green.

——————————————-

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

——————————————-

The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska

——————————————-

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this…)

——————————————-

The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%

————————————————————————————

The average cost of raising a medium-size dog to the
age of eleven: $6,400

————————————————————————————

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in
any given hour: 61,000

————————————————————————————

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their
hair.

————————————————————————————

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom
Sawyer.

————————————————————————————

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

————————————————————————————

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar

————————————————————————————

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(Awesome)

————————————————————————————

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes.

————————————————————————————

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence
on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of
the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature
wasn’t added until 5 years later.

————————————————————————————

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

————————————————————————————

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

————————————————————————————

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter “A”?

A. One thousand

————————————————————————————

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

————————————————————————————

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

——————————————————————————–

Q. Which day are there usually more collect calls than
any other day of the year?

A. Father’s Day

————————————————————————————

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed
frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

————————————————————————————

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s
father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

————————————————————————————

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England , when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and
quarts, and settle down.”

It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

——————————————————————————-

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the
phrase inspired by this practice.

————————————————————————————

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a
man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no
thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of
thumb”

——————————————- —————————–

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

————————————————————————————

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick
their elbow!

————————————————————————————

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when…

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in
years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next
to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell
phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in
the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at
the bottom of the screen..

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which
you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years
of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn
around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before
getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are
going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this
list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there
wasn’t a #9 on this list.


25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

April 16, 2007

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because t&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friends are pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh no, what the hell happened?”

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do the same!


Friends Are Like Bras…

April 3, 2007

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked

Always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

That is what friendship means. Sharing the prejudice of experience.

Give me one friend, just one, who meets The needs of all my varying moods.

My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion, a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved.

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.

What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. i’ll always be with you.”

“Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.”

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”

“True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.”

“true friendship isn’t about being there when it’s convenient; it’s about being there when it’s not.”

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.

“Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away but there the fastest when you call.”

The only thing that lasts longer than a friend’s love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.

I always felt that the great high privilege, relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing.

It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best.

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.

“No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth.”

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

Sometimes i want to shout to the whole world how lucky i am to have you as my friend but sometimes i want to hush…afraid that somebody might take you away from me.

“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.”

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed. Perhaps it should be added that either the man or the woman thus deeply bound in lifelong friendship who seeks marriage must find a still rarer man or woman to wed, to make such a three cornered comradeship a permanent success.


INTERESTING (DUMB, STUPID, & CRAZY) ARKANSAS LAWS

March 22, 2007

THE LAW – NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO THERE WILL HAVE BEEN A TIME AND PLACE WHEN IT WAS LEGAL AND ANOTHER TIME AND PLACE WHERE IT WAS ILLEGAL. THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE STRANGE LAWS IN ARKANSAS. BE CAREFUL. SOME ARE STILL IN FORCE!

If anyone knows of any other “interesting” state/local laws, please add to the list.

DID YOU KNOW:

IT’S ILLEGAL TO MISPRONOUNCE THE NAME OF THE STATE OF ARKANSAS IN THIS STATE. THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, STATE LAW STATES UT MUST BE PRONOUNCED AR-KIN-SAW (ARKANSAS STATE CODE: 1-4-105).

ANYONE CAUGHT CAUSING “UNSEEMLY LAUGHTER” BY WEARING A FALSE MOUSTACHE IN CHURCH WILL BE ARRESTED.

A VOTER IS ONLY ALLOWED FIVE MINUTES TO MARK HIS BALLOT.

ALLIGATORS MAY NOT BE KEPT IN BATHTUBS.

ORAL SEX IS CONSIDERED TO BE SODOMY.

AT ARKANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY TWO PEOPLE CANNOT HOLD HANDS WHILE STANDING IN A DOORWAY UNLESS THEY BELONG TO A UNION.

IN ARKANSAS IT IS ILLEGAL TO BUY OR SELL BLUE LIGHT BULBS.

SCHOOLTEACHERS WHO BOB THEIR HAIR MAY FORFEIT THEIR PAY RAISES.

AN ARKANSAS LEGISLATOR NOT LONG AGO PROPOSED THAT THE STATE PROVIDE GROWTH HORMONES TO DWARFS.

IF AN ELEPHANT IS LEFT TIED TO A PARKING METER, THE PARKING FEE HAS TO BE PAID JUST AS IT WOULD FOR A VEHICLE. (wtf?)

IN ARKANSAS, THERE IS A 5LB. PER DAY LIMIT ON THE AMOUNT OF ROADKILL YOU MAY TAKE HOME. (I AM ASSUMING, OF COURSE, THAT IT IS 5LBS. PER PERSON PER DAY, BUT I DON’T PLAN ON INVESTIGATING)

UNTIL 1994 IT WAS LEGAL IN ARKANSAS TO GRAB A WOMANS BREAST ON A PUBLIC STREET EVEN IF YOU DID NOT KNOW HER.

IT IS CONSIDERED AN OFFENSE TO SHOWER NAKED.

A MAN CAN ALSO GET 10 YEARS IN ARKANSAS FOR PLACING “HIS SPOUSE IN A BROTHEL.”

IN UPPER OSBORNE, ARKANSAS, IT’S A MISDEMEANOR TO DETONATE A NUCLEAR DEVICE WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

IN MOBILE, PIGEONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM EATING THE PEBBLES ON COMPOSITE ROOFS.

IN FAYETTEVILLE, IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL “ANY LIVING CREATURE.” INCLUDING INSECTS. HOWEVER KILLING INANIMATE OBJECTS IS PERFECTLY OKAY. (AR CODE 5-62-101)

IN LITTLE ROCK:

A MAN CAN BEAT HIS WIFE IN LITTLE ROCK ON THE COURTHOUSE LAWN PROVIDED HE DOES IT WITH A STICK NO BIGGER THAN 3 INCHES ACROSS AND NOT MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH. (YEAH, IF THEY HAVE A DEATH WISH)

THE LITTLE ROCK PARLIAMENT PASSED A LAW FORBIDDING THE ARKANSAS RIVER TO RISE HIGHER THAN THE LEVEL OF THE MAIN STREET BRIDGE. (I GUESS WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ARREST THE RIVER FOR DISOBEYING?)

IF YOUR DOG BARKS AFTER 6 PM YOU CAN BE FINED, AND THE DOG CAN BE IMPOUNDED.

FLIRTATION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN ON THE STREETS OF LITTLE ROCK MAY RESULT IN A 30-DAY JAIL TERM

IT IS UNLAWFUL TO WALK ONE’S COW DOWN MAIN STREET AFTER 1:00 PM ON SUNDAY

NO PERSON SHALL SOUND THE HORN ON A VEHICLE AT ANY PLACE WHERE COLD DRINKS OR SANDWICHES ARE SERVED AFTER 9:00 P.M. (-LITTLE ROCK CITY CODE SEC. 18-54)