5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN ~

July 27, 2011

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.

2. NOTHING: Means SOMETHING & you need to be WORRIED.

3. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission , do NOT do it.

4. WHATEVER: A woman’s way of saying FORGET YOU.

5. THAT’S OK: She is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.


391 Places for Free Books Online

July 10, 2011

This is a listing of 391 sites that legally offer free books (eBooks) for download or for online viewing.

Amplify’d from www.techsupportalert.com
AllRomanceBooks  lists 169 free romance ebooks for download.
Bedtime-Story has a large collection of illustrated books for online viewing.
Bored.com has over 15,000 books available for online viewing.
Classic Reader offers thousands of free classic books for online viewing.
eBooksWorld claims to be the world’s largest free ebook directory. 
Ellora’s Cave  offers 80  free romance reads for download.
Gutenberg – Over 25,000 books for download there and over 100,000 available through their affiliates.
HowTo offers around 150 free “how to” ebooks on a wide variety of topics. 
ManyBooks – 22,000 books available for download in a variety of formats.
Munsey’s – Over 18,000 ebooks available in a variety of formats
OnlineComputerBooks – Good selection of free computer books
Racy Li  offers the racy (18+) novel, “Demon Rescuer” for download in pdf.
WordIQ Nice collection of over 10,000 books available for online viewing. 

Read more at www.techsupportalert.com

 


101 Romantic Ideas

April 1, 2011

Some are cheesy, some are cliché, some were really great, unusual ideas.

Amplify’d from www.scribd.com
IDEA # 3


 


On a special occasion, buy your partner eleven real red roses and oneartificial red rose.  Place the artificial rose in the center of the bouquet. Attach a card that says: “I will love you until the last rose fades.
IDEA # 34


 Buy some rose petals and place them behind the sun visor on the passenger side of your car.  Take a post it note and write, “I Love You” on it and stick it tothe back of the sun visor. As you are driving to a romantic destination, look at your partner and tell her she has a mark on her cheek.  She will pull down the sun visor to use themirror and be showered in rose petals and see your note
IDEA # 56
IDEA # 56


 Next time you order a pizza, ask to have it cut into a heart shape before it isdelivered to your home
IDEA # 80


 Give your partner a magic gift box.  Every month, place a new small gift in thebox for her to discover.

Read more at www.scribd.com

 


If a Man Wants You… (Things to Remember)

January 27, 2011

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job.  Do not make him into a quasi-god.    He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary… not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies….. You’ll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Birthday Wishes

October 18, 2008

I miss him.

As my birthday approaches, he is the only gift my soul desires.

I miss the days when we played in the sun. I miss our time at the lake, and fishing with him, and that look on his face when I hooked the biggest bass of my life – so huge I freaked and tried to make him take the pole, but he just howled with laughter and made me do it on my own. I miss the countless hours we spent driving the winding back roads, taking in the scenic beauty, away from the world, talking and laughing. I miss the waterfalls, the hikes, and the woods. I still smile at the way he looked when I ran that crazy, rabid looking bat out of the little store, and I still cringe when I think about him hanging upside down from that tree over the side of the cliff.

I miss the evenings at his place when he would read to me from his Grandfather’s journal. I miss dinner with his family, and those fabulous meals his mom would make while his dad worked on homemade candy for later. I miss throwing darts with him, and listening to his stories. I loved watching him – the intense, animated way he would tell them- making me feel like I was there when it happened… a part of the story.

I miss the nights we spent watching t.v. in bed, with Mona the cat jealously trying to edge me off the bed. I still think about the night we took a blanket to the field to watch the meteor shower. I made a dozen wishes on a dozen shooting stars that night, and I remember every one, which is really quite amazing considering how many beers we had that night. I miss the feeling of safety, security, warmth, and love I fell asleep with every night, laying there next to him. I miss waking up in the middle of the night, and loving it because I got to lay there and stare at him, memorizing everything about him. I miss the scent of him. I even miss his snoring.

I miss the mornings the most. I miss waking up next to him. I miss our morning banter over coffee as we reminisced about the day before and made plans for the day ahead. I miss waking up, and looking at him, and knowing that for that day, we were still together, and I tried not to think ahead to the day I would fly back home, or the days thereafter.

It’s been over a year since I’ve seen him in person, but I see him everyday in my mind, and every night in my dreams. I wish he didn’t haunt me so. I feel his presence when I’m alone in the woods, and hear his laughter in the wind.

No matter how much two people may want the same thing, sometimes love just isn’t enough, and dreams simply don’t come true. They remain what they are… just dreams.

I miss him…my lover…my strength…my best friend… and my birthday wish is for him.

I wish him love. I wish him inner peace. I wish him a lifetime of blessings and happiness.

*and with these wishes, she closes her eyes, and blows out her candles*


I bet you didn’t know….

April 24, 2007

Did You Know…..?

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented.
It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and
thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

——————————————-

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (Lucy and
Ricky were only allowed twin beds. Remember?)

——————————————-

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.

——————————————-

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.

——————————————-

Coca-Cola was originally green.

——————————————-

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

——————————————-

The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska

——————————————-

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this…)

——————————————-

The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%

————————————————————————————

The average cost of raising a medium-size dog to the
age of eleven: $6,400

————————————————————————————

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in
any given hour: 61,000

————————————————————————————

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their
hair.

————————————————————————————

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom
Sawyer.

————————————————————————————

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

————————————————————————————

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar

————————————————————————————

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(Awesome)

————————————————————————————

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes.

————————————————————————————

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence
on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of
the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature
wasn’t added until 5 years later.

————————————————————————————

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

————————————————————————————

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

————————————————————————————

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter “A”?

A. One thousand

————————————————————————————

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

————————————————————————————

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

——————————————————————————–

Q. Which day are there usually more collect calls than
any other day of the year?

A. Father’s Day

————————————————————————————

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed
frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

————————————————————————————

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s
father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

————————————————————————————

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England , when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and
quarts, and settle down.”

It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

——————————————————————————-

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the
phrase inspired by this practice.

————————————————————————————

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a
man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no
thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of
thumb”

——————————————- —————————–

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

————————————————————————————

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick
their elbow!

————————————————————————————

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when…

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in
years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next
to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell
phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in
the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at
the bottom of the screen..

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which
you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years
of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn
around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before
getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are
going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this
list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there
wasn’t a #9 on this list.


The WORST Pick Up Lines EVER!

April 9, 2007

So I asked a few folks to gimmee the best…er…worst…pick-up lines they ever heard (or used), and here are the results. Feel free to add on!

“Baby, I bet you’re just like a Snickers… you could really satisfy!”

“If you were a car door I would slam you all night long.”

“Can I please be your slave tonight?”

“So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?”

“Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a “Do-It-Yourself Shop”.”

“I don’t know what you think of me, but I hope it’s X-rated.”

“You’re clothes would sure look good on my floor!”

“You remind me of a championship bass–I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you! ”

“Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?”

“They say everyone has a star and yours must shine the brightest!”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I’d like to be holding you tonight”

“Do you have sex with strangers? Then allow me to introduce myself!”

“I’m feeling off today, would you mind turning me on?”

“All those curves and me with no brakes”

“Excuse me…do you have a band aid? I scraped my knees when I fell for you”

“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I’d be walking in my garden all the time.”

“What do you say we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?”

“Your body must be VISA, because you’re everywhere I want to be.”

“Are you a parking ticket? You got “fine fine fine” written all over you!”

“They say sex is a killer. Want to die happy?”

“Picture this…..you, me a bubble bath and a bottle of champagne”

“Would you meet me in the courtyard at midnight? I’d like to see which is more beautiful, you or the moonlight.”

“I’m a recruiter. Why not come over to my place and be all you can be?”

“You’re so hot you make fire sweat!”

“You may not like me now….but you’re drinking BEER”

“If beauty was crime, you’d be in for life….”

“Wanna go halves on a baby?”

“Hey there, how would you like to wear those clothes to work tomorrow?”

“I love every muscle in your body …..especially mine”

“I couldn’t help but notice I was staring at you….”

“You like Pop Tarts?
Because that’s what we’re having for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Damn girl, you could knock the stuffin’ off an egg McMuffin.”

“HI I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN STALKING YOU FOR THE LAST YEAR AND TRIED TO KILL
YOU 10 TIMES SO GO OUT WITH ME OR DIE.”

“Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. ”

and even more stupid shit we’ve heard or said…

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Baicarumba…are those real?

Be unique and different, just say yes.

Can I flirt with you?

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.

Excuse me. I’m from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I’m going to have to ask you to assume the position.

Gee, that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good.

Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.