5 DEADLY TERMS USED BY A WOMAN ~

July 27, 2011

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is RIGHT & YOU need to SHUT UP.

2. NOTHING: Means SOMETHING & you need to be WORRIED.

3. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission , do NOT do it.

4. WHATEVER: A woman’s way of saying FORGET YOU.

5. THAT’S OK: She is thinking long & hard on HOW & WHEN you will pay for your mistake.


To My Beautiful Sisters…

March 8, 2011

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters.”

“Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.”

“Remember that ‘sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other women. Women always do.”

“What a funny piece of advice!” the young woman thought. “Haven’t I just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup!  Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!”

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

She said this is what she learned:

Time passes, life happens, distance separates, children grow up, jobs come and go, love waxes and wanes, men don’t do what they’re supposed to do, hearts break, parents die, colleagues forget favors, and careers end…

BUT…

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you…. Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.


If a Man Wants You… (Things to Remember)

January 27, 2011

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job.  Do not make him into a quasi-god.    He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary… not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies….. You’ll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Live With Intention

January 6, 2011

Live with Intention.


Walk to the Edge.


Listen Hard.


Practice Wellness.


Play with Abandon.


Laugh.


Choose No Regret.


Continue to Learn.


Appreciate Your Friends.


Do What You Love.


Live… As if this is All There Is……



Twitter, Art, and Building Bridges

July 8, 2007

Are You a Twitter Ninja?

OK… so this is a first. I’m writing about a website. Well, a couple actually. This should be interesting.

So, I’m a Chris Pirillo fan. Yep, I’m a hard-core endorser of Pirillo’s Picks, and Chris Pirillo Live. Chris led me to check out www.Twitter.com, which, along with www.Twittermosaic.com, is what I’m writing about.

What is Twitter.com? You mean you don’t know? OMG! Where the hell have you been?

Twitter is: “A global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: What are you doing?” You can answer on your phone, IM, or right here on the web!”

Yep, it’s that simple… what are you doing? right now? wherever you are …

It’s the craziest thing. It’s like “express blogging”. More than that, people will start following what you have to say. Now that REALLY blew me away. I’ve been on just a couple months, I’ve posted 1,800 lines of… “express blogs”, one-liners, comments, observations… you name it, I think I’ve probably touched on it. I’m up to 63 followers. People follow my meandering on the web, on their IM’s, on their phones. Of course, for the most part, I follow them back. The thing is, when someone adds me, I take a look at their profiles, and most of the time, they sound a lot like me… or at the very least, they sound like someone I would want to be freinds with. There are some very interesting individuals on there.

That would lead me to twittermosaic.com.

One day I get this new follower, named twitter_mosaics. I check out his bio and “twits”… seems interesting enough, so I add him. One day, he posts a link to a site called twittermosaic.com. I check it out, and am amazed to find the most amazing artistic renderings! Actual mosaics… not just plain mosaics, but beautiful artwork mosaics compiled of nothing but the icons of his twitter followers. I was really knocked over when I got to checking them out and found myself in one of the mosaics! (see Cactus followers)

This week, I was humbled and delighted to find myself in yet another of his fantastic renderings called “Blue Marble, Negative” ( See The Blue Marble, Negative)

It makes me feel like I’m part of history, in some way. Not only that, but as I scan through the icons, I find other Twitter friends there too. It’s almost like a snapshot in time. Twitter asks “what are you doing”, and http://www.twittermosaic.com answers with “these guys were twittering”. It’s a really, really cool thing to look at something that is outside, and larger, than yourself.

As for building bridges….

ok, so I mentioned “followers” and “following” in return. While I’m certainly not going to “name name’s” here, I have to say that I’m making some really good freinds on Twitter. Sure, they started out as “interesting folks”, but some of them are so much more than that. I’m making friends with people all over the globe. From housewives, to CEO’s…. we are all just people. Somehow, we find in each other that “one thing” that connects us. That’s all it takes… and the next thing you know, you find one more thing… then another, and another… and soon enough you aren’t just Twittering to the masses… you are sending direct messages… or you are looking forward to checking Twitter periodically just to see what your “freinds” had to say that day. Just like the things I write, some people make observations, some ask questions, some just say what they did for lunch, or what their dinner plans are. Some people make statements, some people make wishes, and some people make no sense whatsoever at times. The bottom line is, that eventually, you feel like you are part of something. You are part of that “global community” Twitter told you about on the welcome page. It’s a nice feeling.

I’m already making plans to see a new friend in person during my next trip to California. She ‘s a really cool lady, and then I found out she makes her own glass beads, which has been an interest of mine as well. I’m going to check out her studio, and take a lesson or two from her while there. Just another bridge I built… from Arkansas to California…. and I built it on Twitter.com.

So check it out. … and if you want to check me out, you’ll find me there as twila_zoned. Throw me a “Twit” sometime!

http://twitter.com/twila_zoned


ABOUT SOUTHERN WOMEN…

April 22, 2007

SOUTHERN WOMEN

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why , no, Billy!”

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
“Y’all come back!”
“Well, bless your heart.”
“Drop by when you can.”
“How’s your Momma?”

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The beach
The beach

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody’s first name:
Honey
Darlin’
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
The Notebook

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering home made biscuits with momma’s homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl’stn,
S’vanah
Foat Wuth
N’awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler, of course!

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

Now…… Shugah, spread this to some girls who were raised in the
South or wish they had been!

If you’re a Northern transplant:
Bless your little heart–fake it. We know you got here as fast
as you could!!!


25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

April 16, 2007

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because t&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friends are pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh no, what the hell happened?”

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do the same!


INTERESTING (DUMB, STUPID, & CRAZY) ARKANSAS LAWS

March 22, 2007

THE LAW – NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO DO THERE WILL HAVE BEEN A TIME AND PLACE WHEN IT WAS LEGAL AND ANOTHER TIME AND PLACE WHERE IT WAS ILLEGAL. THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME OF THE STRANGE LAWS IN ARKANSAS. BE CAREFUL. SOME ARE STILL IN FORCE!

If anyone knows of any other “interesting” state/local laws, please add to the list.

DID YOU KNOW:

IT’S ILLEGAL TO MISPRONOUNCE THE NAME OF THE STATE OF ARKANSAS IN THIS STATE. THAT’S RIGHT FOLKS, STATE LAW STATES UT MUST BE PRONOUNCED AR-KIN-SAW (ARKANSAS STATE CODE: 1-4-105).

ANYONE CAUGHT CAUSING “UNSEEMLY LAUGHTER” BY WEARING A FALSE MOUSTACHE IN CHURCH WILL BE ARRESTED.

A VOTER IS ONLY ALLOWED FIVE MINUTES TO MARK HIS BALLOT.

ALLIGATORS MAY NOT BE KEPT IN BATHTUBS.

ORAL SEX IS CONSIDERED TO BE SODOMY.

AT ARKANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY TWO PEOPLE CANNOT HOLD HANDS WHILE STANDING IN A DOORWAY UNLESS THEY BELONG TO A UNION.

IN ARKANSAS IT IS ILLEGAL TO BUY OR SELL BLUE LIGHT BULBS.

SCHOOLTEACHERS WHO BOB THEIR HAIR MAY FORFEIT THEIR PAY RAISES.

AN ARKANSAS LEGISLATOR NOT LONG AGO PROPOSED THAT THE STATE PROVIDE GROWTH HORMONES TO DWARFS.

IF AN ELEPHANT IS LEFT TIED TO A PARKING METER, THE PARKING FEE HAS TO BE PAID JUST AS IT WOULD FOR A VEHICLE. (wtf?)

IN ARKANSAS, THERE IS A 5LB. PER DAY LIMIT ON THE AMOUNT OF ROADKILL YOU MAY TAKE HOME. (I AM ASSUMING, OF COURSE, THAT IT IS 5LBS. PER PERSON PER DAY, BUT I DON’T PLAN ON INVESTIGATING)

UNTIL 1994 IT WAS LEGAL IN ARKANSAS TO GRAB A WOMANS BREAST ON A PUBLIC STREET EVEN IF YOU DID NOT KNOW HER.

IT IS CONSIDERED AN OFFENSE TO SHOWER NAKED.

A MAN CAN ALSO GET 10 YEARS IN ARKANSAS FOR PLACING “HIS SPOUSE IN A BROTHEL.”

IN UPPER OSBORNE, ARKANSAS, IT’S A MISDEMEANOR TO DETONATE A NUCLEAR DEVICE WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

IN MOBILE, PIGEONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM EATING THE PEBBLES ON COMPOSITE ROOFS.

IN FAYETTEVILLE, IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL “ANY LIVING CREATURE.” INCLUDING INSECTS. HOWEVER KILLING INANIMATE OBJECTS IS PERFECTLY OKAY. (AR CODE 5-62-101)

IN LITTLE ROCK:

A MAN CAN BEAT HIS WIFE IN LITTLE ROCK ON THE COURTHOUSE LAWN PROVIDED HE DOES IT WITH A STICK NO BIGGER THAN 3 INCHES ACROSS AND NOT MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH. (YEAH, IF THEY HAVE A DEATH WISH)

THE LITTLE ROCK PARLIAMENT PASSED A LAW FORBIDDING THE ARKANSAS RIVER TO RISE HIGHER THAN THE LEVEL OF THE MAIN STREET BRIDGE. (I GUESS WE’RE SUPPOSED TO ARREST THE RIVER FOR DISOBEYING?)

IF YOUR DOG BARKS AFTER 6 PM YOU CAN BE FINED, AND THE DOG CAN BE IMPOUNDED.

FLIRTATION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN ON THE STREETS OF LITTLE ROCK MAY RESULT IN A 30-DAY JAIL TERM

IT IS UNLAWFUL TO WALK ONE’S COW DOWN MAIN STREET AFTER 1:00 PM ON SUNDAY

NO PERSON SHALL SOUND THE HORN ON A VEHICLE AT ANY PLACE WHERE COLD DRINKS OR SANDWICHES ARE SERVED AFTER 9:00 P.M. (-LITTLE ROCK CITY CODE SEC. 18-54)


Some of My Favorite Freeware

February 16, 2007

Did someone say free? Oh wait! That was me!

I am always on the lookout for great freeware. I’m talking totally free, make my life easier, tweak my system, just for fun stuff. With all the free open source alternatives, I just can’t see paying for software in this day and age. The only thing worse is hearing a friend of mine tell me they just spent a STUPID amount of money on something they could have gotten for free (and often, better!) .

While I’m sure there are even better alternatives to the ones I’m gonna list, these are programs that I use almost daily. These are easy to install, work, and most programs are “set ’em and forget ’em”.

For free copyrighting of your material, try common creations at: http://www.commoncreations.com
or
my free copyright at:
http://www.myfreecopyright.com/

Want to add some new fonts?
Check out creamundo at:
http://www.creamundo.com/index.php?lang=en
(you can try out the font before you even download it!)
OR
Fontface
http://www.fontface.com/
OR
wanted fonts
http://www.wantedfonts.com/
OR
betterfonts
http://betterfonts.com/

How about photo tools?
For free brushes at brusheezy
http://www.brusheezy.com/brushes
OR
For the most kick-ass photo tips, DIY projects, and gear : photomojo at:
http://www.photojojo.com/
OR
For photo retouching, image composition, and image authoring: The GIMP at
http://www.download.com/The-GIMP/3003-2192_4-10635470.html?tag=lst-0-1

How about Licensed Software Free For the Taking LEGALLY!
FREE SOFTWARE at give away of the day:
http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/
FREE GAMES at game give away of the day at:
http://game.giveawayoftheday.com/

How often have you carefully selected some text from a Web page and copied it to an email message? Snippy makes this a snap!
http://www.bhelpuri.net/Snippy/default.htm

The ULTIMATE Windows Media Player Plug-In resource:
http://www.wmplugins.com/

Protect your pc for free!
Against spyware:(SPYBOT:search and destroy)
http://www.spybot.info/en/download/index.html
OR
Against adware:(ADAWARE SE PERSONAL)
http://www.lavasoftusa.com/products/ad-aware_se_personal.php
OR
ANTI-VIRUS PROTECTION (I’ve been using this for years!) AVG personal edition:
http://www.download.com/AVG-Anti-Virus-Free-Edition/3000-2239_4-10320142.html
AND
All-in-One SECRETMAKER is designed for everybody who wants to avoid computer crashes and protect their privacy. IT combines several powerful tool and includes a Spam Fighter, Pop-Up Blocker, Cookie Eraser, History Cleaner, Privacy Protector, Banner Blocker and a Worm Hunter. Go to :
http://www.secretmaker.com/

How about free dvd burners/decrypters?
BURN 4 FREE at:
http://www.burn4free.com/
OR
DVD SHRINK at:
http://www.dvdshrink.org/what.html
OR
DVD DECRYPTER
http://www.dvddecrypter.org.uk/
AND FINALLY
IMGBURN is a lightweight CD / DVD / HD DVD / Blu-ray burning application ((CATCH THAT? BLU_RAY BURNER!!!)) get it at:
http://www.imgburn.com/

For the ultimate guide to drivers and firmware go to the driver guide at:
http://driverguide.com/

Want a free auto-expiring telephone number?
CRAIGSNUMBER at:
http://craigsnumber.com/

If you wanna build a remote control lawnmower:
VIDEO

DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS
http://members.iinet.net.au/%7Etnpshow/RCLM/intro.htm

For wasting countless hours doing nothing I give you “PERPETUAL BUBBLEWRAP”. Yes, for the ultimate in time wasting, simply roll your mouse over the bubble wrap to see and hear a satisfying ‘pop’ as the bubble bursts and then reappear. Go to:
http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html

To send off for totally free crap:
(You wouldn’t BELIEVE the crap I’ve gotten for free from this site!)
http://www.totallyfreecrap.com/

If you have Firefox, these are ESSENTIAL add-ins!

Free long distance? Free mobile? (OMG! I LOVE THIS DAMN SERVICE!)
http://www.jajah.com/

Do you listen to music while surfing the Web?
FoxyTunes is a free browser add-on that allows you to control your favorite media players without ever leaving the browser and more…
FOXY TUNES at:
http://www.foxytunes.com/

Cooliris Previews is a free browser add-on that lets you preview links without clicking or leaving your current page. It is an AWESOME timesaver! Get COOLIRIS at:
http://www.cooliris.com

If your searching for particular types of programs, I highly suggest :
http://www.giveawayoftheday.com/freeware/
OR
Chris Pirillo (My Hero!)
http://chris.pirillo.com/
(I love this guy!)
OR
http://www.download.com/
OR
GRC’s popular freeware
http://www.grc.com/freepopular.htm

I originally made this list for my freinds, but then I thought, hey…. someone else may need a freebie today. If you know of any super cool freeware you think I should know about…. tell a woman!!!

Enjoy!


My Friends “To Do List” for When I Die

January 31, 2007

OK… so most of you know this already, but it never hurts to reiterate, since we were probably drunk when we had the original conversation…

When I die, do NOT bury me, CREAMATE me. I’d prefer a huge funeral pyre blazing on a make-shift wooden raft right around mdnight in the middle of a picturesque lake located in a beautiful valley and surrounded by rugged mountains, and thanks for asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah….. I know… how often did I ever get exactly what I wanted out of life, and why the hell would I possibly expect it to be any different after I’m dead?

Do NOT put me on some somber display and mourn my death. Don’t cry, or try to be quiet with murmurs and whispers in what some call “respect”. If you love me, and know me at all, then you know I’d hate that. Instead, build a bonfire by the afore mentioned lake, party like you’re 21 again, plaster my picture on one of the kegs or coolers, and celebrate my departure. Be happy for me, ’cause i’ll FINALLY be far away from Wynne, with no chance of ever having to return. I’m pretty sure Amanda can supply you with the appropriate photo. She displayed it on her mom’s fridge for YEARS. Try to do it on some private property somewhere, with permission of the owner, of course, so the cops can’t bother you.

For the music, grab my cd case and crank up the volume. Sarah and Steve know my favorites. Hell, Sarah still has my absolute favorite cd, and Steve has copies of my top 50 tunes. LOL! But for the very last song… the epitaph… the eulogy… the final farewell… I want you guys to raise your glasses, flick your bics, smoke a fatty if ya wanna, and play “I’m moving on” by Rascal Flats. It fit me the first day I heard it, it fits me to this day, and it will still fit me when I’m gone. And yes, kimmie, I’d be thrilled for you to lace a hog-leg with my ashes and smoke me up, so I could be with you “forever and ever”. It might just be the sweetest, smoothest smokin’ thing you ever toked on!

Don’t think for a second you have to talk about “the niceties” of my life, or the rougher times I made it through. Instead, tell the stories of the stupidist things you ever remember me doing. Talk about my dumbass ideas, hair-brained schemes, off-beat ideas, and the goofy quirks I had. I once read “you are only as strong as the tables you dance on, the drinks you mix, and the friends you roll with”, so party hard, drink hard, hugg each other hard, and remember that i loved you, and would do anything for you. I’ll be with you always, and you’ll know when I’m there. I’ll be the thought that makes you laugh out loud in the middle of silence . When you trip over your own two feet, or lose sometthing you just sat down in front of you… that would be me fucking with you. When your watching porn and need to suddenly turn down the volume or go to a black screen because someones suddenly walking in unannounced, I’ll be the reason you can’t find the remote, the volume suddenly blairs and the power button is stuck. When you just can’t believe something that stupid happened… I caused it. I’ll also be the tune you find yourself humming, the $20 you didn’t know you had, and the dumb-luck that saved your ass.

So… don’t miss me when i’m gone, ’cause I won’t be!