To My Beautiful Sisters…

March 8, 2011

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day, drinking iced tea and visiting with her mother. As they talked about life, about marriage, about the responsibilities of life and the obligations of adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance upon her daughter.

“Don’t forget your sisters,” she advised, swirling the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. “They’ll be more important as you get older. No matter how much you love your husband, no matter how much you love the children you may have, you are still going to need sisters.”

“Remember to go places with them now and then; do things with them.”

“Remember that ‘sisters’ means ALL the women… your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other women relatives too. You’ll need other women. Women always do.”

“What a funny piece of advice!” the young woman thought. “Haven’t I just gotten married? Haven’t I just joined the couple-world? I’m now a married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup!  Surely my husband and the family we may start will be all I need to make my life worthwhile!”

But she listened to her mother. She kept contact with her sisters and made more women friends each year. As the years tumbled by, one after another, she gradually came to understand that her mother really knew what she was talking about. As time and nature work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman, sisters are the mainstays of her life.

She said this is what she learned:

Time passes, life happens, distance separates, children grow up, jobs come and go, love waxes and wanes, men don’t do what they’re supposed to do, hearts break, parents die, colleagues forget favors, and careers end…

BUT…

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you…. Or come in and carry you out. Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters, daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers, Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and neither would I. When we began this adventure called womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

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If a Man Wants You… (Things to Remember)

January 27, 2011

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are… even if he has more education or in a better job.  Do not make him into a quasi-god.    He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage… deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary… not supplementary.

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies….. You’ll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Cow Tipping: An Arkansas Tradition

October 31, 2010

The stereotypical Arkansas pastime of days gone by. This is what your grandparents did for fun (or at least that’s what the Northerners think).

Don’t try this at home!

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: 60 minutes

Here’s How:

1. Get extremely drunk or extremely bored. Moonshine whiskey makes for the best cow tipping experience, but extreme boredom (teenagers with nothing to do) will suffice.

2. Bring friends. Cow tipping is no fun without company!

3. Find a pasture with cows. Everyone knows that everyone in Arkansas has cows so that won’t be hard.

4. Go at night so that you won’t see the cow pies as you step in them…oh yeah, the cows will be asleep too.

5. Find an isolated cow and be sure it’s sleeping.

6. Approach the cow against the wind. If you’ve been stepping in cow pies all night, the cow will smell you for sure if you are upwind of her and will run from the stench.

7. Go for the tip! In a creeping motion, walk toward the cow, place both hands on one of its flanks, and push with a hard, but smooth stroke.

8. RUN far away. The cow will wake up and tell all her friends about your stunt and they will stampede. The farmer won’t be happy either (you don’t want a hiney full of buckshot do you?).

9. Go home to whittle or perhaps brew some more moonshine for your next cow tip!

Tips:

1. Be sure the ‘cow’ you are trying to tip is not a bull. It is not wise to tip the bulls.

2. Cows evolved to sleep standing up in order to better evade predators, obviously, since they can be tipped so easily, it didn’t work.

3. Don’t try this at home! Cows have feelings too! Leave cow tipping alone to live in your grandparents memories.

(source)

Observations from the lighter side of tech…

July 15, 2007

www.atechdiva.wordpress.com

This is a new blog page dedicated to more or less dedicated to the lighter side of all things tech, written in layman’s terms, for those who are not as internet or technically educated, or informed, but who want to be. It should be fully up and posted by August 1st, 2007. In the meantime, keep an eye on it for the latest developments.

read more | digg story


Twitter, Art, and Building Bridges

July 8, 2007

Are You a Twitter Ninja?

OK… so this is a first. I’m writing about a website. Well, a couple actually. This should be interesting.

So, I’m a Chris Pirillo fan. Yep, I’m a hard-core endorser of Pirillo’s Picks, and Chris Pirillo Live. Chris led me to check out www.Twitter.com, which, along with www.Twittermosaic.com, is what I’m writing about.

What is Twitter.com? You mean you don’t know? OMG! Where the hell have you been?

Twitter is: “A global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: What are you doing?” You can answer on your phone, IM, or right here on the web!”

Yep, it’s that simple… what are you doing? right now? wherever you are …

It’s the craziest thing. It’s like “express blogging”. More than that, people will start following what you have to say. Now that REALLY blew me away. I’ve been on just a couple months, I’ve posted 1,800 lines of… “express blogs”, one-liners, comments, observations… you name it, I think I’ve probably touched on it. I’m up to 63 followers. People follow my meandering on the web, on their IM’s, on their phones. Of course, for the most part, I follow them back. The thing is, when someone adds me, I take a look at their profiles, and most of the time, they sound a lot like me… or at the very least, they sound like someone I would want to be freinds with. There are some very interesting individuals on there.

That would lead me to twittermosaic.com.

One day I get this new follower, named twitter_mosaics. I check out his bio and “twits”… seems interesting enough, so I add him. One day, he posts a link to a site called twittermosaic.com. I check it out, and am amazed to find the most amazing artistic renderings! Actual mosaics… not just plain mosaics, but beautiful artwork mosaics compiled of nothing but the icons of his twitter followers. I was really knocked over when I got to checking them out and found myself in one of the mosaics! (see Cactus followers)

This week, I was humbled and delighted to find myself in yet another of his fantastic renderings called “Blue Marble, Negative” ( See The Blue Marble, Negative)

It makes me feel like I’m part of history, in some way. Not only that, but as I scan through the icons, I find other Twitter friends there too. It’s almost like a snapshot in time. Twitter asks “what are you doing”, and http://www.twittermosaic.com answers with “these guys were twittering”. It’s a really, really cool thing to look at something that is outside, and larger, than yourself.

As for building bridges….

ok, so I mentioned “followers” and “following” in return. While I’m certainly not going to “name name’s” here, I have to say that I’m making some really good freinds on Twitter. Sure, they started out as “interesting folks”, but some of them are so much more than that. I’m making friends with people all over the globe. From housewives, to CEO’s…. we are all just people. Somehow, we find in each other that “one thing” that connects us. That’s all it takes… and the next thing you know, you find one more thing… then another, and another… and soon enough you aren’t just Twittering to the masses… you are sending direct messages… or you are looking forward to checking Twitter periodically just to see what your “freinds” had to say that day. Just like the things I write, some people make observations, some ask questions, some just say what they did for lunch, or what their dinner plans are. Some people make statements, some people make wishes, and some people make no sense whatsoever at times. The bottom line is, that eventually, you feel like you are part of something. You are part of that “global community” Twitter told you about on the welcome page. It’s a nice feeling.

I’m already making plans to see a new friend in person during my next trip to California. She ‘s a really cool lady, and then I found out she makes her own glass beads, which has been an interest of mine as well. I’m going to check out her studio, and take a lesson or two from her while there. Just another bridge I built… from Arkansas to California…. and I built it on Twitter.com.

So check it out. … and if you want to check me out, you’ll find me there as twila_zoned. Throw me a “Twit” sometime!

http://twitter.com/twila_zoned


101 Uses For Canned Air

April 25, 2007

1. USE ALONG WITH MILK TO CREATE A FAKE CAPPUCCINO.
2. ADDED INCENTIVE DURING “ROACH RACES.”
3. INSTANT METHANE REMOVAL FROM OFFICE OR CUBICLE.
4. CAN BE USED TO RE-CREATE THAT “GREAT NORTHEASTERN WIND A BLOWIN” WHEN CALLING CLIENTS.
5. A QUICK AND SOMETIMES EFFICIENT WAY TO GIVE YOURSELF THAT “HARRIED” LOOK AT THE OFFICE – TO BE AVOIDED BY TOUPEE WEARERS.
6. HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY? THEN SLAP SOME WATER ON YOUR HEAD, SMOOTH YOUR HAIR AND DRY IT WITHOUT HAVING TO BEND OVER TO GET TO THE HAND DRYER.
7. QUICK BURN RELIEF: USE SPARINGLY, OR YOU’LL END UP WITH FREEZER BURN, TOO.
8. DOG TRAINING – IT’S BETTER THAN WHISTLING.
9. CAT REMOVAL – A QUICK PSSSSSSSSSSSST IS GUARANTEED TO SCARE EVEN THE TOUGHEST ALLEY CAT.
10. CLEANING THE LINT BUILDUP OUT OF YOUR NAVEL ON REALLY SLOW DAYS. AND WHY IS THE LINT ALWAYS BLUE?
11. AIM AT THE TOP OF THE CUBICLE CABINET TOWARD THE PERSON ON THE OTHER SIDE TO MOVE DUST AND OTHER MISCELLANEOUS DEBRIS TO WHERE IT RIGHTLY BELONGS.
12. USE THE COOLING NATURE OF CANNED AIR TO HEAT UP YOUR OFFICE IN THE COLD WINTER MONTHS. JUST SPRAY THE THERMOSTAT WITH A HEALTHY SHOT OF CANNED AIR, AND WAIT FOR THE HEAT TO KICK IN!
13. WHILE CAN IS BEHIND YOUR BACK, FOLLOW SOMEONE INTO THE ELEVATOR AND A GOOD, LONG BLAST, THEN LOOK AROUND EXCITEDLY EXCLAIMING THAT YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE THIS WAY.
14. GIVE A WHISTLE THE ENERGY IT NEEDS TO CONVINCE YOUR BOSS THE EVACUATION ALARM SOUNDED.
15. CONSERVE TREES BY BLOWING THE SEEDS AND EXCREMENT FROM THE BOTTOM OF BIRD CAGES, THUS SAVING THE PAPER FOR FURTHER USAGE.
16. CLEAN THE CRUMBS FROM A BUCKET SEAT.
17. DON’T HANDLE THEM DIRECTLY – BLOW THE DUST OFF THOSE MOUSE BALLS!
18. EAR WAX REMOVAL. PLACE THREE DROPS OF WARM SALT WATER IN THE EAR CANAL. ALLOW TO SET FOR ONE MINUTE. HOLD AIR-STRAW TWO INCHES FROM EAR CANAL, BLOW… SEE IF YOU CAN HIT SOMEONE WITH THE FLYING WAX.
19. BLOWING LIQUID THROUGH A STRAW. WITH THE USE OF COMPRESSED AIR, THE LIQUID CAN BE BLOWN FURTHER. WITH THE USE OF 1/2″ DIAMETER PLASTIC TUBING, AND A MIDNIGHT TUBE-RUNNING OFFICE VISIT, IT CAN BE BLOWN ON UNSUSPECTING CO-WORKERS FROM BEHIND CLOSED DOORS.
20. REV UP THAT GRILL: STAND BACK ABOUT TWO FEET AND REV UP YOUR CHARCOAL GRILL FIRE WITH A FEW BLOWS!
21. BLOWING UP SKIRTS À LA MARILYN MONROE.
22. WART REMOVAL: INVERT CAN, SPRAY TO FREEZE WART.
23. FREEZE GUM THAT IS STUCK IN THE CARPET OR UPHOLSTERY AND THEN REMOVE WITH A PUTTY KNIFE.
24. REMOVING CATS FROM KEYBOARDS.
25. REMOVING ANNOYING NON-IT COWORKERS (THEY USUALLY THINK IT’S SOME SORT OF HARMFUL CHEMICAL).
26. REMOVING TOILET WATER FROM A CELL PHONE DROPPED THERE BY MY 16-YEAR-OLD.
27. PAPERWEIGHT – PARTICULARLY USEFUL WHILE USING ANOTHER CAN TO DUST DESK.
28. ON SLOW DAYS, DRAW A SHUFFLEBOARD DIAGRAM ON A TABLETOP; USE CANNED AIR TO SHOOT BOTTLE CAPS TO SCORE.
29. CANNED AIR IS PERFECT FOR CLEANING THE CUT WHISKERS OUT OF YOUR ELECTRIC RAZOR.
30. CLEANING RESIDUE FROM COFFEE GRINDER.
31. BLOWING EXCESS CHEESE OUT OF YOUR MAC ‘N CHEESE.
32. INFLATING UNDERSTUFFED RAVIOLI TO CREATE THE ILLUSION OF OVERSTUFFED.
33. PUT A FROTH OF FOAM ON YOUR COFFEE, AND IT’S CHEAPER THAN STARBUCKS.
34. TURN THE CAN UPSIDE DOWN AND QUICKLY COOL YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF JELL-O AFTER BOILING IT IN THE MICROWAVE. PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE FOR GREEN JELL-O.
35. ALSO GREAT FOR THAT HALF-BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW ON THE CORNER OF THE DESK WHEN YOU JUST WON’T DRINK IT WARM.
36. FILL CAN WITH MILDLY PRESSURIZED, PURIFIED AIR (NOTHING BUT 78% N2, 21% O2, 0.94% AR2, 0.03% CO2 AND A 0.03% MIX OF OTHER NATURAL ELEMENTAL GASES). THIS RESULTS IN A COLORLESS AND ODORLESS MIXTURE. THEN, WHENEVER YOU TIRE OF THE SMELL AND POISONS OF POLLUTION, JUST SPRAY THE PURE AIR IN YOUR FACE AND BREATHE DEEP!
37. INDOOR MODEL ROCKETRY: TAKE ONE OF THOSE HANDY LITTLE FILM CANISTERS NORMALLY USED FOR HOLDING CASE SCREWS – TAPE ROCKET STYLE FINS TO THE CANISTER. IMPORTANT: THE FAT END OF THE FINS MUST BE AT THE OPEN END OF THE CANISTER. WHILE HOLDING THE CANISTER OPEN END UP INVERT THE CANNED AIR AND SPRAY INTO THE CANISTER FOR SEVERAL SECONDS CREATING A 1/8 INCH DEEP POOL OF PROPELLANT. IMMEDIATELY PLACE THE CAP ON THE CANISTER AND PLACE CAP DOWN ON ANY LEVEL SURFACE. IN A MATTER OF MOMENTS THE “INDOOR ROCKET” IS LAUNCHED AT EXTREMELY HIGH SPEED INTO THE AIR / CEILING TILES / BOSS’S OFFICE.
38. SUPPORT THE WIND POWER INDUSTRY BY KEEPING THE TURBINES GOING WHENEVER THE WIND DROPS.
39. SPRAY LIBERALLY TO COOL THE AIR WHEN GLOBAL WARMING HEATS IT.
40. SPRAY LIBERALLY TO WARM THE AIR WHEN GLOBAL WARMING PRODUCES UNUSUALLY COLD WEATHER.
41. BLOWING BUBBLES; SIMPLY INSERT INTO THE LITTLE BOTTLE AND ZILLIONS OF BUBBLE APPEAR FROM NOWHERE.
42. EMERGENCY CAN OF AIR FOR FISH TANK, WHEN THE FISH TANK PUMP BREAKS DOWN.
43. HELP BLOW MILK OUT OF YOU NOSE.
44. SHOOT PAPER WADS OUT OF STRAW.
45. PLAY AIR HOCKEY AT MCDONALDS WITH TRIANGLE STRAW.
46. TURN PAGES IN YOUR SMART COMPUTING MAGAZINE.
47. CREATING DUST DEVILS – INSERT INTO BAG OF POWDERED SUGAR AND LET IT RIP.
48. EMERGENCY OUTBOARD MOTOR.
49. DEFEATHERING NOISY PARAKEETS.
50. CHOCOLATE MILK STIRRER.
51. BLOW IT IN THE FACE OF YOUR DOG TO CREATE THE ILLUSION OF HANGING HEAD OUT OF WINDOW WHILE DRIVING.
52. BLOW IN YOUR CAT’S FACE SO SHE CAN PRETEND SHE IS BEING CHASED BY THE DOG IN THE CAR.
53. FORCING SAND FURTHER INTO SENSITIVE MACHINERY TO INCREASE WEAR FACTOR.
54. COOLING DOWN THE ARM PITS, ESPECIALLY WHEN HOT AND WET.
55. SINCE THE CANNED AIR DOESN’T CONTAIN AIR, BUT SOME HEAVIER THAN AIR GAS — IT CAN BE USED TO MAKE “HEAVY BALLOONS” THAT FALL TO THE GROUND LIKE BRICKS. SURE TO AMAZE YOUR COWORKERS!
56. IRRITATE NEXT DOOR’S PIT BULL.
57. SEE JUST HOW BIG YOU CAN INFLATE A BULL FROG BEFORE IT POPS.
58. TURN THE PAGES ON A CALENDAR ONCE A MONTH.
59. WIN EVERY TIME PLAYING BALLOON-KEEP-UP.
60. THERE ARE A LOT OF MACHINES IN THE LAB AND THE WHITE NOISE TENDS TO LULL TIRED TECHNICIANS TO SLEEP. A SQUIRT OF CANNED AIR TO THE EAR WAKES ‘EM RIGHT UP!
61. HUMANE FLY SWATTER.
62. A VERY SHORT SHOT OF AIR WILL FORCE INK INTO A REFILLED CARTRIDGE. INSERT IN FILL HOLE, COVER WITH PAPER TOWEL AND GIVE A BURST. INK WILL FLOW FROM THE JET NOZZLE OF THE CARTRIDGE. TOO MUCH AIR WILL MAKE A MESS!
63. USE TO BLOW OUT WINDSHIELD WIPER HOSE.
64. TAPE CAN TO MODEL BOAT, THEN TAPE DOWN NOZZLE AND PUT IN WATER.
65. USE A LOT OF CASES OF AIR TO BLOW OFF LEAVES FROM YARD.
66. BLOW OUT RAIN GUTTERS.
67. BLOW BUBBLES IN BATH WATER.
68. IRRITATE WASPS.
69. HELP GET KITES OFF THE GROUND.
70. BLOW SAND INTO YOUR BROTHER’S SHORTS.
71. INSERT INTO FRONT OF PANTS AND COOL DOWN.
72. AS A FISHING AID: USE THE CANNED AIR TO SAIL THE LINE OUT.
73. KEEPING THE CAT OFF OF THE SOFA.
74. CHILL A PITCHER OF TEA, PUT CAN INTO TEA AND PULL TRIGGER.
75. IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT A WARM CAN OF SODA AND THE ICE TRAY IS EMPTY, YOU CAN FREEZE THE WATER IN THE BOTTOM OF A PAPER CUP…INVERT THE CAN AND SPRAY INSIDE THE CUP.
76. FREEZING BODY PARTS OF UNWELCOME VISITORS IN YOUR OFFICE – INVERT THE CAN, AIM AT BODY PART AND SQUEEZE WHILE INFORMING THE USER THAT YOU DON’T TAKE WALK-IN REQUESTS. IF REPEATED WITH SUFFICIENT FREQUENCY AND CONSISTENCY THIS SHOULD ELICIT A PAVLOVIAN RESPONSE AND CREATE AN AVERSION TO NOT FOLLOWING THE CORRECTION PROCEDURE FOR SUBMITTING A HELP TICKET.
77. COOLING SOLDER.
78. REMOVING CHEWED OFF FINGERNAILS FROM KEYBOARD.
79. CLEANING PIERCINGS.
80. MAKING OBNOXIOUS ARMPIT NOISES – INSERT STRAW IN ARMPIT, SQUEEZE ARM TO SIDE OF BODY AND PRESS TRIGGER.
81. EXPELLING ANTS FROM YOUR WORK AREA.
82. COOLING YOUR COFFEE IN A CAFFEINE EMERGENCY.
83. REMOVING IRRITANTS FROM BRA WITHOUT HAVING TO DISROBE.
84. EJECTING THE FLUFF FROM BETWEEN TOES WHILE AVOIDING ACTUAL CONTACT.
85. COOLING SKIN WITHIN A CAST.
86. AS AN AIR-BRUSH PROPELLANT.
87. PLAYING THE ENGLISH GAME OF “BLOW FOOTBALL” – TRADITIONALLY PLAYED BY BLOWING THROUGH STRAWS, BUT EXPEDITIOUS USE OF CANNED AIR MAKES FOR LONGER AND MORE CHALLENGING GAMES WITH REDUCED RISK OF ASPHYXIATION.
88. RIDDING INFREQUENTLY USED POWER SUPPLIES OF BROWN RECLUSE SPIDERS (THIS HAPPENED…).
89. COOLING YOUR FEET OFF WITHOUT HAVING TO REMOVE SOCKS OR SHOES – INSERT STRAW IN SOCK AND SQUEEZE TRIGGER. BE WARNED THAT THIS HAS THE ADDED BONUS OF LIBERALLY DISTRIBUTING BODY ODOR IF YOU SUFFER FROM THIS PROBLEM (THIS ALSO APPLIES TO 5).
90. ADDING FOAM TO HOT CHOCOLATE.
91. LOCATING PRECISELY WHICH TOOTH IT IS THAT HAS BECOME COLD SENSITIVE.
92. PAINTING WITH HOT AND COLD.
93. BLASTING THE CRUD OUT OF MICE.
94. THE INCREDIBLE GROWING PUTTY BALL.
95. FIRING SMALL MISSILES.
96. SURPRISING A NAPPING CAT.
97. CONFUSING TELEMARKETERS – NOT AS EFFECTIVE AS AN AIR HORN, BUT STILL QUITE ALARMING.
98. DRYING SKATE BEARINGS.
99. CLEARING SINUSES (DON’T TRY THIS).
100. INFLATING BALLOONS.
101. QUICK-DRYING PLAYDOH® SCULPTURES OF MINIATURE DONKEYS MADE AT DESK ON SLOW DAYS.


I bet you didn’t know….

April 24, 2007

Did You Know…..?

Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented.
It was ruled “Gentlemen Only…Ladies Forbidden”…and
thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

——————————————-

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime
time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. (Lucy and
Ricky were only allowed twin beds. Remember?)

——————————————-

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the
U.S.Treasury.

——————————————-

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can
hear better.

——————————————-

Coca-Cola was originally green.

——————————————-

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

——————————————-

The State with the highest percentage of people who
walk to work: Alaska

——————————————-

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now
get this…)

——————————————-

The percentage of North America that is wilderness:
38%

————————————————————————————

The average cost of raising a medium-size dog to the
age of eleven: $6,400

————————————————————————————

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in
any given hour: 61,000

————————————————————————————

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their
hair.

————————————————————————————

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom
Sawyer.

————————————————————————————

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

————————————————————————————

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a
great king from history:

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar

————————————————————————————

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
(Awesome)

————————————————————————————

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has
both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person
died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes.

————————————————————————————

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence
on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of
the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature
wasn’t added until 5 years later.

————————————————————————————

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

————————————————————————————

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most
popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

————————————————————————————

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you
have to go until you would find the letter “A”?

A. One thousand

————————————————————————————

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield
wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

————————————————————————————

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey

——————————————————————————–

Q. Which day are there usually more collect calls than
any other day of the year?

A. Father’s Day

————————————————————————————

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed
frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase……… “goodnight, sleep tight.”

————————————————————————————

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years
ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s
father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead
he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their
calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

————————————————————————————

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England , when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and
quarts, and settle down.”

It’s where we get the phrase “mind your P’s and Q’s”

——————————————————————————-

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. “Wet your whistle” is the
phrase inspired by this practice.

————————————————————————————

In the 1400’s a law was set forth in England that a
man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no
thicker than his thumb. Hence we have “the rule of
thumb”

——————————————- —————————–

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

————————————————————————————

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick
their elbow!

————————————————————————————

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when…

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in
years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next
to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell
phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in
the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at
the bottom of the screen..

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which
you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years
of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn
around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before
getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂

12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are
going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this
list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there
wasn’t a #9 on this list.